In the morning, on the last day of the year, it's gonna turn out what kind of a story my life is. The ironic one, in which I pay for mistakes of years ago, or the one with improbable happy-end. I wouldn't mind the latter, but I'm worried if I'm not fooling myself with all this hope...
What will happen? I can't say I'm curious. Curiosity is long gone, everything that's left is... fear, isn't it? Whether it'll be 'all right' or quite the contrary, or something completely unexpected - oh, I don't know myself what will happen, what may happen. Gosh.
She is coming here with her... boyfriend. For the New Year celebration. I told her of my feelings. She feels the same. Who will be 'the other guy', myself or him? Now that's a va banque game, isn't it...
One more day, and everything will be clear. Not clearer than I'd like, I hope.
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