You might think little of something. Be glad, actually. But "No man is an island, entire of itself" - obvious, isn't it? I tend to learn the obvious lessons the hard way, by my own mistakes. That's what I get for questioning everything and anything. You say something is wrong? Well, let me see for myself. Sure, there are no regrets nor qualms for getting "wiser". The price might be too high, though.
A few weeks ago - honesty. Recently - trust. Whatever I'm doing, it always seems like a good idea. Shortly afterwards, it backfires cruelly. I wished to go for a trip somewhere far, but the only trip I got was a guilt one. Will I ever be too old for such foolishness? I hope so. And I hope not. I love the unpredictability of events, but I don't want to hurt anyone. Can it be balanced?
The etiquette, customs and conventions are not inherently limiting and bad, it seems. They are the best approximation and guides to what will and what won't hurt or simply displease others.
I am greatly disappointed with myself. I know it will let me choose better from now on, but I so wish I had known it before. I am so distant to everything that concerns me, that it's hardly a problem. I do care for how my actions affect others, though.
Oh, what a blabbering. Not a single coherent thought.
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